Get the Quote of the Day from The Big Bang Theory
My new computer came with Windows 7. Windows 7 is much more user-friendly than Windows Vista. I don't like that.
Love is not a sprint, it's a marathon, a relentless pursuit that only ends when she falls into your arms - or hits you with the pepper spray.
I don't like rabbits. They always look like they're about to say something, but they never do.
Penny, you don't want to get into it with Sheldon. The guy's one lab accident away from being a super villain.
I'm sorry but I'm not going to watch the Clone Wars TV Series until I've seen the Clone Wars movie. I prefer to let George Lucas disappoint me in the order he intended.
Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.
I'm not insane, my mother had me tested!
A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink. The bartender replies "for you, no charge".
When you understand the laws of physics, Penny, anything is possible. And may I add, "Mwah, ha, ha."
Zack: Is that the laser? It's bitchin'.
Sheldon: Yes. In 1917, when Albert Einstein established the theoretic foundation for the laser in his paper "Zur Quantentheorie de Strahlung", his fondest hope was that the resultant device be bitchin'.
Under normal circumstances I'd say I told you so. But, as I have told so with such vehemence and frequency already the phrase has lost all meaning. Therefore, I will be replacing it with the phrase, I have informed you thusly.
Hello, I know you're out there. I can hear you metabolizing oxygen and expelling carbon dioxide.
What exactly does that expression mean, 'friends with benefits?' Does he provide her with health insurance?
You know, I'm given to understand that there's an entire city in Nevada devoted specifically to help people like Howard forget their problems. They replace them with new problems such as alcoholism, &@#%#!&& addiction and sexually transmitted diseases.
You bought me a present? Why would you do such a thing? I know you think you're being generous, but the foundation of gift giving is reciprocity. You haven't given me a gift, you've given me an obligation. The essence of the custom is that I now have to go out and purchase for you a gift of commensurate value and representing the same perceived level of friendship as that represented by the gift you've given me. Ah, it's no wonder $#!&!&@ rates skyrocket this time of year. Oh, I brought this on myself by being such an endearing and important part of your life...
I think that you [Leonard] have as much of a chance of having a sexual relationship with Penny as the Hubble telescope does of discovering at the center of every black hole is a little man with a flashlight searching for a circuit breaker.
Einstein defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. By that definition, Penny is cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.
What part of an inverse tangent approaching an asymptote don't you understand?
When I try to decieve, I myself have more ticks then a lyme-disease research facility.
I'm not saying that all senior citizens that can't master technology should be publicly flogged. But, if we made an example of one or two it might give the others incentive to try harder.
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