Get the Quote of the Day from Eastbound & Down
Listen here you beautiful %!&&#, I'm about to %#&% you up with some truth.
If there's one thing I hate, it's losing. If there's two things I hate, it's losing and getting cancer.
Fundamentals are a crutch for the talentless.
No offense but you got a $#!&&! job, you're not quite as tall as me, nobody really respects you. Me on the other hand, I got the glory, I get the fame, the money, the jewels, the cash, the Denali, getting drunk on the reg, %#&%!& good times on the reg, yachts on the reg, $@$ on the reg, basically all the $#!& that most men fantasize about.
No actually I don't. I play real sports, not tryin to be the best at exercising.
Watch it, ass blood.
Honey I love you, I think you're a terrific girl, but you have clothes like a %#&%!& &!&% head.
Do not stare at me with those dead eyes, you church %!&&#!
Oh what do I know? I know that one of us has had their own personal stylist, and one of us shoplifts their $#!& from Fashion Bug. That's what I know.
Some people say I'm a woman hater. That's not true I love women, every %#&%!& one of them, even the ugly as $#!& ones. But don't ask me to trust 'em, not even nuns, because every pair of &!&$ comes with a gaping hole and need that even Kenny Powers can't fill.
It's a rubber for your mouth, it's not that big of a deal, ok? And besides, it's not just for my protection, you don't know what $#!& I got either.
Just an average guy with exceptional hair. Nothing more, nothing less.
Y'all named your daughter after %#&%!& Titanic? Oh wow, you gotta be shittin me. What's his name, %#&%!& Shrek?
Look, I can't talk to you with your &!&$ hanging out like cabbages.
You know what, I can already tell that I don't like you, and I'm probably not gonna like you no matter how many pullups or pushups you do. If anybody wants to pick on anybody in class, aim for him because I ain't lookin.
Sure I've been called a xenophobe, but the truth is I'm not. I honestly just feel that America is the best country and all the other countries aren't as good. That used to be called patriotism.
This bar smells like an old lady farted piss.
One time I was invited to come to a social gathering. I was paid a handsome amount of money, and I brought a shotgun and a bottle of Tanqueray and showed those people the best %#&%!& time they've ever seen.
Remember, there is no I in team, but there is a U in &#&&. So don't be little jealous &#&&$, ok?
Kenny Powers' days of burnin' ass are done. And that's not a homosexual reference.
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