Get the Quote of the Day from 30 Rock
The future is like a Japanese game show, you have no idea what's going on.
A book hasn't caused me this much trouble since Where's Waldo went to that barber pole factory.
It's like a black barbie doll in Arizona - nobody's buying it!
I love cornbread so much I want to take it behind a middle school and get it pregnant.
Live every week like it's shark week.
Affirmative action was designed to keep women and minorities in competition with each other, to distract us, while white dudes inject AIDS into our chicken nuggets. That's a metaphor!
O M F G!
I'd like to pre-apologize for clogging your tub, sink and toilet.
Yes and no. 'Yes' that did happen, 'no' it didn't not happen.
Your haircut is offensive to lesbians!
Love is like an onion, and you peel away layer after stinky layer until you're just weeping over the sink.
Isn't there a Snuggie somewhere you should be filling with your farts?
Would you rather be with the person you love forever, but you always have to wear a shirt made out of their pubes, or be alone for the rest of your life, but you get to wear whatever you want?
I learned the word "black" in every language just so I know when to be offended.
Weird in a good way, like going to the gym drunk.
Freaky-deakies need love too.
I feel about as useless as a mom's college degree.
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