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Suppose Nancy sees me coming out of the shower and decides to come on to me. I'm looking good, got a luscious vee of hair going through my chest pubes down to my ball fro. She takes one look at me and goes "Oh my god, I've had the old bull, now I want the young calf," and grabs me by the wiener...
You threw your babies away. And you threw your swords away. You threw your golf clubs, and your tasty treats. And you know what? I found them. And I'm gonna raise all of them.
If there's one thing I hate, it's losing. If there's two things I hate, it's losing and getting cancer.
Taked baby. Meet at later bar, night or day sometime.
Do you guys know where the crapper is? I have to drop some timber.
So you're gonna tell me that you don't have no black cats, no roman candles or screamin mimis? Oh come on man, you don't got no lady fingers, buzz buddles, sneaker bombs, church burners, finger blasters, gut busters, zippity doo das or crap flappers? You're gonna stand there, owning a fireworks stand, and tell me you don't have no whistling bungholes, no spleen splitters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hoosker dos, hoosker don'ts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whistling kitty chaser?
That hug was completely asexual, he kinda snuck it up on me.
I'll eat your babies, %!&&#!
No man, you gotta keep going. What am I gonna do, quit? That's not an option. You gotta keep on keepin on. Life's a garden, dig it and you make it work for you. You never give up man, that's my philosophy.
Have I ever showed you a picture of my dead dad? Oh, I gotta show you. He's super dead.
Holy Santa Claus $#!&!
Delta squad is in your house, %!&&#! You hear that $#!&? You grubby-ass %!&&#@$ are goin' down! Like way down. Dead down, so down you ain't even gonna know which way is up! Your asses are gonna be cryin' to your skank-ass queen, "Oh, mommy, don't let the bad man hurt us!" F#&% you! We're gonna whoop your mamma's ass. Whoo!
I swear to God, I think I just had a heart attack in my butthole.
Barbara Walters, Oprah, your wife. You gotta %#&% one, kill one, and marry one, go!
You wanna fight? Why don't you stick your head up my butt and fight for air.
I'm coughing up blood that ain't even mine!
Hey! You're talkin to my guy all wrong. It's the wrong tone. You do it again, I'll stab you in the face with a soldering iron.
I didn’t invent the turtleneck, Lana, but I was the first to recognize its potential as a tactical garment. The tactical turtleneck. The tactalneck.
How exactly is a rainbow made? How exactly does the sun set? How exactly does a positrack rear end on a Plymouth work? It just does.
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