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Aladdin needed a magic carpet to soar through the sky. All I need is her love to feel that high.
You like to see homos naked?
They say don't drink and drive. Well, don't drink and bone.
I'm not particularly obsessed with #@$&##%@&!@&, but I am vigorously fond of tube socks.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
Sometimes it is harder to deprive oneself of a pain than of a pleasure.
I have missed you so much. I don't know where you're headed, but can you call in sick?
If there is anything you want to do in your life, do it before you retire, you won't have time to do it after you retire!
Tell him he shouldn't jerk off with a noose around his neck, it's dangerous. Oh, and tell him if he does, he should have a teammate or a spotter.
One cannot find peace in work or in pleasure, in the world or in a convent, but only in one's soul.
There are having flowers in Spring, breezes in Summer, moon in Autumn, snows in Winter.
If there is nothing worrying over you, it will be the best seasons at all times.
I'm a realist, I understand it's the 21st century and you've probably had premarital relations with my daughter. But under our roof it's my way or the long island express way. Is that understood? Good. Keep your snake in its cage for 72 hours.
Oh, I gotta yawn, stare at traffic, lick myself. And believe me, that could take hours if you do it right.
The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant--and let the air out of the tires.
Get that thing away from that little boy's butt.
I know it's late, but Mr. Winky is still on Chicago time, and we both know there's only one way to make Mr. Winky go away, right?
It's also helpful to realize that this very body that we have, that's sitting right here right now... with its aches and it pleasures... is exactly what we need to be fully human, fully awake, fully alive.
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