Get the Quote of the Day for Parents
If you don't buy me something, I'm gonna tell my mom you took me to a black people's house.
Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president, but they don't want them to become politicians in the process.
Your mother is an other?
Having children is a privilege not a right. Use that privilege wisely and our future will be bright.
I've always been good with parents. The key is to simply think of them as aliens from a distant universe.
Men and women raising a child together is a proven system a thousand years old.
If your parents never had children, chances are you won't, either.
The thing that impresses me the most about America is the way parents obey their children.
The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all men, charity.
Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home.
My mom always says I was born thirty-five years old and that I get more middle-aged every year.
Illusions, Dad. You don't have time for my illusions!
The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children.
My parents only had one argument in forty-five years. It lasted forty-three years.
I don't have a bank account, because I don't know my mother's maiden name.
My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.
My dad ran out on me when I was just a kid, all he left was a batch of hepatitis on the toilet seat.
Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.
Look at me mom, look at me mom!
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