Get the Quote of the Day for Laughter
I didn’t invent the turtleneck, Lana, but I was the first to recognize its potential as a tactical garment. The tactical turtleneck. The tactalneck.
It's a pity I can't keep those smiles of hers. Instead, I'll just keep her smiling.
When hungry, eat your rice; when tired, close your eyes. Fools may laugh at me, but wise men will know what I mean.
"I'm so hungry I could eat a grown man's ass right now!"
The grass may be greener on the other side, but lawn maintenance isn't my thing.
Why so serious?!
"Dentistry? I can't even believe that's something that's real."
Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of truth and knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods.
The more you forget, the more life becomes filled with surprises.
Don't hang up on telemarketers, talk seductively, and hit on them. Make them feel more uncomfortable then you.
You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing.
Everyone's laughing and riding and cornholing except Buster.
A computer once beat me at Solitaire, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
You may forget the one with whom you have laughed, but never the one with whom you have wept.
A laugh is a smile that bursts.
Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back.
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