Quotes and Sayings

Joke quotes Rss-h1

Quotes and sayings that are or are about jokes,

Quote-of-the-day Get the Quote of the Day for Jokes

"Love is like a brick. You can build a house, or you can sink a dead body."

Lady Gaga (Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta) ...

Diet is "die" with a "t".

Jim Davis ...

I didn’t invent the turtleneck, Lana, but I was the first to recognize its potential as a tactical garment. The tactical turtleneck. The tactalneck.

H. Jon Benjamin ...

"I'm so hungry I could eat a grown man's ass right now!"

Quotes by Danny McBride Danny McBride ...

Now let us gingerly touch our tips.

Joe Lo Truglio ...

The more you forget, the more life becomes filled with surprises.

Ronald Allan Richardson ...

Don't hang up on telemarketers, talk seductively, and hit on them. Make them feel more uncomfortable then you.

FriendlyQuoteer ...

There is nothing wrong with curiosity unless you are a cat.

Ronald Allan Richardson ...

Pearls and dung are both part of the punchline.

Quotes by Vanna Bonta Vanna Bonta ...

''life is just a game''

udarsha45 ...

Why does a squirrel swim on his back? To keep his nuts dry.

Trey Parker ...

Your moms must be so stupid she thinks Grape Nuts is an STD.

LL Cool J ...

Never waste jealousy on a real man: it is the imaginary man that supplants us all in the long run.

George Bernard Shaw ...

If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0

Charles Lauller ...

I'd like to move us right along to a Peter Gibbons. Now we had a chance to meet this young man, and boy that's just a straight shooter with upper management written all over him.

John C. McGinley ...

A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents.

Georg Christoph Lichtenberg ...

Do you like fish sticks? Do you like to put fish sticks in your mouth? What are you, a gay fish?

Trey Parker ...

The more you forget, the easier life becomes; tell the same jokes, quote the same quotations....

Ronald Allan Richardson ...

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

Groucho Marx ...

Every joke is 80% true.

Amy Anderson ...