Quotes and sayings that are funny, amusing, clever, entertaining, good-humored, hilarious, hysterical, jolly, laughable, playful, silly, whimsical, witty, etc.
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Suppose Nancy sees me coming out of the shower and decides to come on to me. I'm looking good, got a luscious vee of hair going through my chest pubes down to my ball fro. She takes one look at me and goes "Oh my god, I've had the old bull, now I want the young calf," and grabs me by the wiener...
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I will kick you repeatedly in the balls!
Cats do not abide by the laws of nature.
You threw your babies away. And you threw your swords away. You threw your golf clubs, and your tasty treats. And you know what? I found them. And I'm gonna raise all of them.
If you fish in the toilet, you're gonna catch a turd.
Let me pop a quick "H" on this box, this way we all know its filled with the hornets.
See that door right there, the one marked "Pirate"? Do you think a pirate lives in there?
Cat in the wall, eh? Ok, now you're talking my language. I know this game.
I think you have me confused with someone who's far less awesome.
Listen here you beautiful %!&&#, I'm about to %#&% you up with some truth.
It's right at the top of my To Don't List.
I'm going to take a pillowcase and fill it full of bars of soap and beat the $#!& out of you!
A woman in politics is like a donkey doing calculus.
If there's one thing I hate, it's losing. If there's two things I hate, it's losing and getting cancer.
I needed to think about last night. So I galloped into a wooded glen, and after punch-dancing out my rage and suffering an extremely long and very painful fall, I realized what has to be done.
Taked baby. Meet at later bar, night or day sometime.
Fundamentals are a crutch for the talentless.
Do you guys know where the crapper is? I have to drop some timber.
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