Get the Quote of the Day for Drinking
I'm gonna get drunk and play some video games 'til my eyes bleed.
No, I like to rock n' roll all night and 'part' of every day. I usually have errands...I can only rock from like on to three.
Hey, hey you little forest creatures. None of you sons of %!&&#@$ try to be heroes. You hear me? Whoa, hey everyone, this is Gary the squirrel. Listen up, Gary's been a long time friend, we've been skating for two and a half years. I remember when we were hanging out on the bus stop in Tuscon and Gary said, "Hey, I've got a third ball." [pukes in costume] I just threw up in here people, that' the reality. Another layer to the legend. I am nothing but a human onion. In fact we all are - hold on. [pukes again]
One time I was invited to come to a social gathering. I was paid a handsome amount of money, and I brought a shotgun and a bottle of Tanqueray and showed those people the best %#&%!& time they've ever seen.
When the going gets tough, the tough get clubbing.
I like to say a prayer, and drink to world peace.
Can I offer you a drink? How about this expensive prostitute?
They say don't drink and drive. Well, don't drink and bone.
Remember, boys! STAY AWAY from women! All they want from you is your man-juice! If you ever get the kind of urges that cannot be suppressed by hard liquor, use this!
She had a botched necklift, she's as dead as disco! Who wants champagne?
I know where you're at, man. You had it all, and now it's gone. It's torn a hole in your soul bigger than my Escalade. So you turned to the &##&$, the alcohol, #@#&@&#@##!, free basing with OJ, human trafficking, dog fights slash orgies, darkness.
What’s the human race going to do when it runs out of orifices to stick something into for a thrill?
If you were as drunk as me you would.
Put the mimosas down, %!&&#!
Hey, who wants to go for some flapjacks right now?
It's the same thing your whole life. Clean up your room, stand up straight, pick up your feet, take it like a man, be nice to your sister, don't mix beer with wine, ever. Oh yeah, don't drive on the railroad tracks.
I could set you up with my trainer. He's gay, but not when he's drunk.
I like beer, hotdogs, and long blackouts on the beach.
Maybe go down to McDonalds and get you a whah burger and some french cries. How about a weinekin.
Like to see the Quote of the Day in your Facebook news feed!
or try our advanced search
