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You learn something new every day and if not, you're being cheated.

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People are like tea bags. You don't know how strong they are until you put them in hot water.

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Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

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Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

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A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.

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Promises are like babies: Easy to make, hard to deliver.

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Everything has beauty but not everyone sees it.

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Families are like fudge - mostly sweet with a few nuts.

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Chuck Norris once counted to infinity...twice!

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Never let a computer know you're in a hurry.

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If you want happiness for an hour - take a nap. If you want happiness for a day - go fishing. If you want happiness for a lifetime - help someone else.

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Top executives should rate their subordinates on loyalty and competence. Those who are more loyal than competent should be fired because they are the dangerous ones. They will stay forever while other more competent, less loyal people will jump ship as problems develop. 

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"If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. Buildings burn, people die but real love is forever."

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