A list of quotes put together by reeltake
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Suppose Nancy sees me coming out of the shower and decides to come on to me. I'm looking good, got a luscious vee of hair going through my chest pubes down to my ball fro. She takes one look at me and goes "Oh my god, I've had the old bull, now I want the young calf," and grabs me by the wiener...
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I will kick you repeatedly in the balls!
I'm going to take a pillowcase and fill it full of bars of soap and beat the $#!& out of you!
Holy Santa Claus $#!&!
I teabagged your drum set!
I traveled 500 miles to give you my seed!
Barbara Walters, Oprah, your wife. You gotta %#&% one, kill one, and marry one, go!
You wanna fight? Why don't you stick your head up my butt and fight for air.
I swear I'm so #!$$@& off at my mom, as soon as she's of age I'm putting her in a home.
Hey! You're talkin to my guy all wrong. It's the wrong tone. You do it again, I'll stab you in the face with a soldering iron.
You have the voice of an angel. Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.
This wedding is horse $#!&!
How exactly is a rainbow made? How exactly does the sun set? How exactly does a positrack rear end on a Plymouth work? It just does.
You better not close your eyes, because as soon as you do, I'm gonna punch you square in the face!
Hey Derek, sprechen sie &!&%?
You want a match? My face and your ass, how about that friend. I mean your ass and my face. What's up.
We're here to %#&% $#!& up!
You. Show me them boobies.
I'll kill you, Leonard Nimoy!
Brennan, I thought you were incredibly brave. And I mean that in strictly the most clinical and professional sense possible, with no emotional, intimate, sexual, or any other undertones that you could possibly infer.
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